The Beauty of Routines: Why Whim and Wellness Don’t Mix

Today I’ve discovered an important key in getting my act together.

But let me back up a second. I’ve dealing with a nasty cold over the past 4 days that disrupted my life and kept me from exercise or cooking.  Blargh.  Since I’ve been languishing on my bee-hind at home, I had time to get the jump on some of the reading for my GUU courses.

As part of  Spiritual and Existential Studies 101, I started reading Maitreyabandhu’s book, Life with Full Attention, which I picked because of some good reviews on the internet.  I also liked that it is divided into eight “weeks” of reading that are relatively short with assignments for that week at the end of each chapter.

image via alancleaver_2000 on Flickr

I knew I would like it as soon as I started reading it yesterday: the week 1 chapter was all about day-to-day mindfulness (attention to mundane tasks), the kind of tasks that we often neglect with the end result of having a chaotic or disrupted day.  He then described having routines as the most important antidote to half-finished tasks and forgetting mundane things, and also as the key to satisfying feelings of mastery and control over our lives.

The part that really knocked my socks off was the way he described the role of routines in helping us reach our goals and spending our time doing what we value most.  He says:

“Routine is a way of building shape in our lives.  It helps us persevere when we feel under-motivated.   It is a way of making time for activities…that our hectic timetable could easily overwhelm.  Routines are sustaining and have a morale-boosting effect.  People who don’t have them don’t usually have much energy, are not very effective with their time, and tend to miss out on things.  There is value in doing something ‘out of force of habit’.…Habit protects us from the whim of the moment.”

At first glance, this may seem pretty “duh” to all of you.  It’s a pretty obvious, common-sense statement to me too, at least on some level.  We always talk about setting up better habits as the key to changing our eating habits, fitness, etc.  As a therapist, I have helped many people build routines for changing and stabilizing their lives.  For example, I have used a scientifically-supported therapy for people with Bipolar Disorder called “interpersonal and social rhythm therapy,” an important part of which is helping people even out their biological rhythms by having regular bedtimes and the like.

I know about the value of routine from personal experience too.  So what was so thunderbolt-y to me about his description?  It was his assertion that habits protect us from the whim of the moment.  And as he reminds me, when we decide at the whim of the moment it’s not usually the wise decision to, say, have a salad for lunch.  He writes that there is a common misconception that people must feel like doing something before they actually do it; but in fact motivation usually doesn’t come until we’re in the middle of doing that activity.  Contrary to what seems logical, waiting for motivation to arise before we do something is de-motivating.  Haven’t we all the experience of over-thinking whether or not we wanted to do something, and talking ourselves out of it?  You know that conversation we have with ourselves: If I go to the gym, I’ll have to get out in the cold, then after I’ll be stinky and have to catch a shower, but I don’t have all my toiletries packed…Lots of times, thinking about what we want works against us.  If we just threw on our clothes and left for the gym because it’s habit (without micro-analyzing what we actually want that second), we would have been glad later.

This struck me because of how few real routines I have in my own life.  I function well in life, but my schedule and activities change day-by-day.  My sleep schedule is all over the place.  The time I exercise or cook changes from day to day.  I make plans for the weekend last-minute.  My husband is the same way.

Before, I thought that my lack of routine afforded me more options and freedom.  I thought that it was a charming indication of being a laid-back, flexible person.  I am this way to some extent because of my personality—I am a bit of a sensation-seeker, as we’d say in the psychology world.  Boredom comes easily to me, and I don’t want to be tied down when a more fun option comes my way.  I thought that rigid schedules were mostly for children with their underdeveloped brains, their harried parents, boring people, or anal-retentive folks who can’t accept that Life Equals Change, man (I went to a hippie college, I’ll have you know).  In other words, routines were necessary, but only for other people.  I didn’t clearly understand the protective effects of having routines.

I always thought that my lack of routines gave me greater freedom to choose; now I see that it’s given me greater freedom to choose poorly on the spur of the moment.  This reading made me see more clearly that my lack of routines is why I feel impulsive all the time: I am especially vulnerable to my whims.  Huh.  It’s a subtle mental shift, but it’s the difference between “having weak willpower” (a story I often tell myself) and having a poorly arranged schedule.

How does this mental shift help me?  I’m hoping that now I more clearly see the value of having a schedule, I can recruit it to help me more firmly establish the changes I’ve acquired through Grown-Up University.  I can try to cook and go to the gym at the same time every day and to arrange my nighttime routine to incorporate packing my lunch and other new things.  I can be more…what’s the word?  Oh yeah: mindful.

On that note, does this resonate with anyone else?  What have been your most helpful routines?  What routines have you struggled with?  Do you agree that “habit protects us from the whim of the moment”?

Thanks for reading–everyone have a great weekend!